Silver Spring’s Lori Gardner has spent her career managing large and small nonprofits. Since July 2024, the energetic 69-year-old has been president of the Washington, D.C., chapter of Les Dames d’Escoffier International. She has served the nonprofit, which is led by women in the culinary industry (Julia Child is among Les Dames’ notable alumnae), in various roles since 2016. Starting with a short stint as a teen waitress at a Bob’s Big Boy restaurant in Bailey’s Crossroads, Virginia, Gardner’s culinary experience also includes her blog, Been There, Eaten That, in which she reviews D.C.-area restaurants.
The website, which she started in 2010, has been dormant since her last entry in January 2024, when she shared the joys and struggles of eating well through her February 2023 leukemia diagnosis and subsequent treatment. In that blog entry, Gardner, who considers dining part of her identity, describes how cancer “put a wicked spin” on her life. She says Les Dames’ success depends on the efforts of a network of volunteers. Gardner believes leaders of nonprofits should inspire others. She says this wasn’t always the case in her career.
I’ve worked with people who have been very demanding, to the point of being toxic. I regret not feeling empowered to do anything about it, not standing up for myself or for others when they felt they have been treated unfairly. I think this is how I came to approaching my leadership of a women’s organization in a field that is often male dominated—my approach to leadership has been from a position of empathy.
I think empathy is really important, particularly in the environment we’re living in now.And when you have a volunteer organization, you have people with all different kinds of priorities in life—family, paid jobs, and then volunteer work. You need to be mindful and have empathy towards people, you need self-awareness.
Toxicity is when someone in a position of power makes someone else feel powerless.Many organizations have a hierarchy that imposes a way to do things; I had one supervisor in particular who was very hierarchical and insisted I should only talk to the people right below me, not two levels below me. That made people at lower levels feel not respected and their opinions were not valued. I never wanted anyone to feel ‘less than,’ and I think there’s a balance as a supervisor. You have a responsibility to value their input and respect it.
As the president of a volunteer organization, I am empowered to have a culture of collaboration.You have to take into account those other priorities in life I mentioned and allow for flexibility and different viewpoints. But I’m going to confess, I’m not the most patient person: I want things done—and not everyone operates at the same speed that I do, and I have to acknowledge that with compassion and empathy and understanding.
I’m a cancer survivor. I spent 2023 in treatment pretty much all year. So that also gives me empathy and an understanding of what people are going through. You try to take time to get to know people and what’s going on in their lives—it’s really important. You hope they enjoy being part of a team. You hope people are having fun.
—As told to Buzz McClain
This appears in the May/June 2025 issue of Bethesda Magazine.
