“Ew.”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t eat onions.”
“Why is there green stuff on the chicken?”
If you are a parent, chances are you’ve heard variations of these statements when trying to get your kids to eat just one more bite of the nutritious meal you lovingly prepared.
When it comes to feeding kids, even the pros face challenges. Despite their expertise, nutrition experts and child psychologists deal with picky eaters, busy schedules and family dynamics like the rest of us.
In separate interviews, we spoke with local experts who also happen to be mothers—Rockville psychologist Rachel Singer, 41; North Bethesda personal chef Dara Lyubinsky, 41; and Bethesda holistic nutritionist Jen Silverman, 42—to understand how they navigate mealtime at home. From fostering a positive relationship with food to finding creative ways to expand kids’ palates, here are the strategies they swear by.
1. Model the behavior you want to see.
Singer, a licensed psychologist and clinical director at Rebecca Resnik and Associates in Rockville, has extensive experience counseling families with picky eaters, particularly those with anxious or neurodivergent children. She is also the parent of two elementary school-age children and knows firsthand the importance of setting an example. “We say all the time, ‘Don’t yuck someone else’s yum,’ ” she says. “It teaches kindness and shows that food can be a joyful experience.”
Even small food celebrations can make a difference. “I do a happy dance when my older child asks, ‘Can we try a new food today?’ ”
Lyubinsky, the owner of Nourish Culinary, a personal chef who works with more than 40 families weekly, echoes that sentiment. “Kids learn by example,” says Lyubinsky, who has three children, ages 10, 7 and 3. “If you’re enjoying your meal, trying new foods and showing enthusiasm, kids are more likely to follow suit.”
Silverman, a nutritionist who has three children, ages 10, 8 and 5, agrees. “As a parent and a nutritionist, I have to walk the talk. Kids watch everything we do. If I’m eating junk food all the time, how can I expect them to make healthy choices? It’s about being consistent and setting a good example.”
2. Involve kids in the process.
Singer uses grocery store trips as opportunities to explore new foods. “We take the kids to pick out fruits and veggies they’ve never had before. Then we go home, do a taste test, a food contest or a rank-order debate. It makes them excited to explore.”
Lyubinsky agrees that engagement leads to better results. “When kids feel part of the process—whether helping to pick ingredients or watching the chef prepare meals—they’re more likely to try something new.”
Silverman says she tries “to involve them when I can, like, even if it’s once or twice a week. I let them choose their snacks and stuff because, again, [it kind of gives them] some control over something they feel like they’ve contributed.”
3. Have a backup option, but don’t short-order cook.
“Have at least one item on the table that your child will eat, but don’t exhaust yourself by making two separate meals,” Singer says. “For example, yogurt and berries can be a backup option they prepare themselves.”
Silverman echoes that approach. “I don’t make separate meals, but I always make sure there’s something on the plate they’ll eat. If they refuse, I offer alternatives like cucumber spears or garbanzo beans.”
Lyubinsky, whose team works directly in clients’ homes to prepare customized meals, stresses the importance of consistency. “It’s about shifting expectations. Your child might just eat rice one night, and that’s OK. But don’t throw in chicken nuggets just to avoid conflict. They’ll eventually eat when they’re hungry.”
4. Expose kids to new foods gradually.
Introducing new foods doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Singer suggests pairing new foods with familiar items. “When my son was younger, he only wanted to eat noodles with butter and Parmesan. I tried to introduce other things, but that was his safe food, and I just let it be while continuing to offer new options.”
Lyubinsky’s chefs use creative combinations to make new foods more appealing. “If a family’s child loves steak, we might pair it with something new, like creamed spinach or kale. It’s about bridging the gap while keeping things enjoyable.”
Singer notes that kids are naturally “supertasters,” with more sensitive taste buds than adults. “It can take 11 or more exposures before a child accepts a new food. Keep offering it—it’s a slow process.”
5. Avoid pressure and punishment.
“If you make a child sit at the table until they finish their broccoli, you’re turning mealtime into a power struggle,” Singer explains. “When kids feel forced, they’re more likely to resist, even when they’re older.”
Singer recommends reframing mealtime as an opportunity for connection. “Ask about the best part of their day or play a game like ‘What’s your rose and thorn today?’ [to share the best and worst parts of their day]. When mealtime becomes about family rather than food, everyone enjoys it more.”
Silverman says, “It’s about finding a balance. I’m strict about certain things like food dyes, but I also allow some flexibility to avoid creating unhealthy relationships with food. I explain to my kids that these dyes can affect their behavior and health. It’s not just about saying no; it’s about educating them on why certain foods are better choices.”
6. Normalize all foods.
Singer cites research suggesting that restriction can lead to overeating. “If you tell a child they can never have [a certain] food, it becomes all they want. It’s better to make dessert a small, natural part of the meal so it’s no longer special or secretive.”
Lyubinsky adds, “Sometimes we’ll mix zucchini into a muffin batter or add flaxseed to pancakes, but we always tell the kids what’s in it. Food transparency is just as important as variety.”
7. Planning reduces stress.
“Think ahead on Sunday,” Lyubinsky says. “Prep some meals in advance, or double a recipe to have leftovers. It saves time and takes the stress out of weeknight dinners,” adding that some nights they just order pizza and salad.
“The important thing is to avoid burnout,” Lyubinsky adds.
Silverman says she tries “to keep meals simple and convenient. Using rotisserie chicken or precooked pasta can be a lifesaver on busy days.”
8. Be flexible and realistic.
“There are no absolutes. Some meals are hits, and some are misses,” Lyubinsky says. “It’s about staying consistent and not giving up.”
Singer encourages parents to focus on long-term patterns rather than daily battles. “Look at what your kids eat over a week or month, not just one day. That perspective can ease your worries.”
Silverman advises parents to keep their eyes on the health benefits. “Yes, healthier options can be more expensive, but it’s an investment in your health. It’s better to spend money on good food now than on medical bills later.”
This appears in the March/April 2025 issue of Bethesda Magazine.
