- Don’t panic.
- Press <?>.
- Laugh with your six friends when the doors remain closed. [You decided to cram seven Americans inside. This is what you deserve.]
- Press 1*. [Maybe it didn’t register.]
- Practice patience. Give the elevator time. Press 1* again.
- Realize you’re stuck. [At least you practiced a virtue.]
- Try to locate a “call” button. [Without any knowledge of Arabic, you cannot determine if one exists amid the handful of non-numerical buttons.]
- Push all buttons one by one. [None of them seems to do anything.]
- Jump up and down because it works in movies. [This is difficult as you crammed that seventh person in and you’re pressed against each other rather snugly.]
- Jump again, but this time, count out loud—one, two, three—to synchronize your jumping.
- Keep this up for several minutes. [Success has abandoned you, packed its clothes and drained the savings account.]
- Once everyone is sweating profusely, listen to your friend who’s begging to stop. “I never exercise,” he says, gasping for air. “I think I’m going to die.”
- Ponder that possibility and how awful it’d be to have a decomposing corpse inside a jungle-climate elevator packed with the six remaining Americans. [His body would remain upright, packed tightly between friends and elevator wall.]
- Pause to take a selfie, making your best “panic faces.” [Yours looks like you’re suffering from a flesh-eating bacterial infection, which is about how the elevator currently smells].
- Yell for everyone to “SHUT UP” when a voice crackles through a speaker.
- Realize that silence doesn’t help because the man on the other end only speaks Arabic.
- In English, explain that the elevator is stuck. [High school Spanish has proven worthless.]
- Listen as something further is said in Arabic.
- Wistfully say, “English?” into the in-wall microphone. Then repeat, “The elevator is stuck.” [Realize how American you are.]
- Listen as the man confers with another man who also only speaks Arabic.
- Say, “Help, Help!” into the speaker. [Maybe they will recognize that word.]
- Begin to hope as the disembodied voices chatter excitedly.
- After the speaker crackles off, pray that this word transcended your linguistic ineptitude.
- Wait until the door ratchets open, revealing the legs of two hotel desk workers. [The elevator is between floors.]
- Clamber out onto the upper level one after another as the front desk clerks laugh at how many of you were trapped within. [You are grateful for their enthusiasm, as you feel foolish.]
- Breathe clean air.
- Wipe the sweat from your forehead.
- Shake hands with your saviors after wiping said sweat onto your pants. Smile and thank them—“Shukran.” [The only Arabic word you know.]
- Wave as they climb into the stalled elevator and fiddle within an electrical box set behind a panel.
- Pile six Americans into the other small elevator while one of you hits the stairs. Push 1*.
What to Do When Trapped in a Tiny Turkish Hotel Elevator While Studying Abroad By Robbie Maakestad
Adult Essay Second Place Winner, Fairfax, Virginia