It had been a bad year, for the world. The snow in Canada blocked second story windows all winter while coffee beans died in a Brazilian drought. Some people went to war, but no one signed peace treaties. A lot of people died. Gabriel knew three of them, but one was a dog. The other two were his grandfather and his sixth grade math teacher. He had seen his math teacher more recently than his grandfather. Gabriel was 18 years old, which was old enough to stay alone in a hotel room.
On September 12, he sat on his bed and counted up all the money he had made working as a cashier at a bakery that summer. When he was finished, he reserved a hotel room for two nights in Niagara Falls for Thanksgiving. Then he turned off his computer, put his money back behind his bookshelf, and sat down to do his math homework.
It was hard, and Gabriel was not very good at math. He texted Louisa are you around on saturday? He did not text her about the math homework because Louisa was very good at math. He also did not text her about his hotel room.
It had been a bad year, for the world, and Gabriel was afraid to be alone. He was also afraid to be with someone else, because then he had a responsibility for them. It was not that Gabriel was afraid of responsibility—in fact, he was quite responsible. He always remembered to empty the dishwasher and turn off the lights when he left the room. It was just that Gabriel was not very good at emotional responsibility. He had felt very bad about not knowing what to do when Louisa’s dog died, and also what to say to his mother when her father died.
Louisa had responded, saying yes, but only in the morning. Gabriel had forgotten what he had wanted to do on Saturday. He decided that being alone in a hotel room would make him ache in a way he didn’t want to, so he texted Louisa do you want to come to Niagara Falls with me on Thanksgiving? She responded a minute later, we’d be the only people not on their honeymoons. Gabriel didn’t think this was true, because surely someone else would want to visit one of the biggest waterfalls in the world, even if it was bitterly cold and a national holiday devoted to spending time with family. Instead, he said we could get married and Louisa said no, which was probably smart considering they weren’t dating in the first place.
When Gabriel saw Louisa again the next day, she smiled at him and said hey, how are you? and Gabriel said fine, how was your physics test? because Gabriel was of the belief that it is polite to remember when your friends have to take tests, and Louisa said it could have been worse, which is what she always said, and then let’s do it, over Thanksgiving. Gabriel was smiling when he walked into class, which was so rare that David, who sat next to him, said are you OK? which is not nearly as polite as how are you?
Gabriel had heard that the Canadian side of Niagara Falls was prettier, and he figured it was also less likely to be filled with sad and lonely people who were celebrating Thanksgiving away from their family at a tourist destination in the freezing cold. Canadian Thanksgiving was in October.
There were a lot of casinos on the New York side of Niagara Falls.
Gabriel decided that he wanted to take the train. He liked trains, because they were easier to board than airplanes and also easier to read on than buses. He also thought they were very romantic. Louisa said how much are train tickets to Niagara Falls? which was a good question. As it turned out, train tickets to Niagara Falls were not as expensive as Gabriel might have thought. And they were not nearly as expensive as the hotel, which was probably Gabriel’s fault for wanting to be near the falls themselves.
(He was not sure why he wanted a hotel room near the part of the Niagara River where the riverbed gave out to erosion and created one of the three largest waterfalls in the world. He was not sure why he wanted to see this fantastic accident of nature in the first place, except that he had never seen it before.)
There were a lot of things Gabriel had never seen before. Once, he had been to Stonehenge on a family vacation. Gabriel liked large and clichéd tourist attractions. He hoped to one day visit the Taj Mahal, but that required plane tickets, which were a lot of work, and customs, which Gabriel was a little afraid to navigate alone.
Louisa said to him, I don’t understand why you want to go to Niagara Falls over Thanksgiving. Gabriel said, did you know that Niagara Falls erodes at a rate of one foot per year, and has in fact moved seven miles upstream since it was discovered? Then Louisa said, but why over Thanksgiving? and Gabriel said, and it’s not actually worth going over the falls in a barrel, even if you survive, because you can get sued because the falls are a national park, or maybe even permanently kicked out of Canada, and Louisa said, were we planning on going over in a barrel? and Gabriel said what?
The fact was, he didn’t really know why he wanted to go to Niagara Falls over Thanksgiving, except that he had thought to himself, I could go to Niagara Falls over Thanksgiving. And they looked beautiful in pictures. So Gabriel was planning a trip to Canada. Sometimes, he thought, things just were.
And it had been a bad year, for the world, which made Gabriel want to see the falls even more.
Gabriel had met Louisa when they were in sixth grade, which is a good time for meeting people because sixth graders were willing to share themselves with new friends. Second period English had been a turning point in both of their lives.
By eighth grade, they were the kind of friends who everyone knew would pair up for group projects. By ninth grade, they were the kind of friends who spent Saturday nights stifling semi-hysterical laughter into a pillow so as not to wake anyone else up. By 12th grade, they were the kind of friends who went to Niagara Falls for a long weekend together.
They were also the sort of friends who put a lot of store in walking home from school together. Gabriel was not quite sure why. They did not live that close to each other, and sometimes they listened to music the whole way home. But they did it, every day, and Gabriel was glad for it.
Sometimes, they walked home from Louisa’s job together. This was convenient because Gabriel had to stay after school on Tuesdays in order to understand his math homework, and Louisa worked pretty near the school. Sometimes, Gabriel’s math homework was not particularly difficult, and he sat on the bench down the street from Louisa’s job.
Louisa sat on the bench next to him. Neither of them spoke for a moment. Gabriel was seized with the momentary fear that there was nothing good left in the world to say. Then Louisa said, what is the most interesting thing you learned today? Gabriel said, Ten percent of the fish that go over Niagara Falls die. They both sat for a moment, thinking about this. Then Gabriel said, what is the most interesting thing you learned today? and Louisa said, some Christmas ornaments cost five ninety-five and others cost six fifty. Louisa worked in retail. They sat for another moment, thinking about this.
Louisa said, are you doing research on Niagara Falls? to which Gabriel responded, no, which they both knew was a lie, because no one just happened to know what percentage of fish died on Niagara Falls. Gabriel was of the belief lying was OK if the other person knew that you were lying, and if you knew that the other person knew that you were lying. He had told Louisa this once, and she had sat in silence for a good three minutes before changing the subject. Gabriel had never found out if she agreed with him, and, three years later, was a little afraid to ask.
Louisa said once that good friendships were like good driving, they required a large amount of attention and a small amount of fear. She was probably joking.
Louisa asked him, finally, sitting on the bench, what is your obsession with Niagara Falls? Gabriel did not know the answer. He did not even really want to know the answer. He worried that if he knew the answer, he would no longer want to go so badly. Instead he said, does that mean you don’t want to come anymore? He tried to remind himself of all the reasons it thrilled and terrified him to think of going alone, in case she decided not to go. Louisa said, no, god, that’s not what I’m saying. I was just curious. And then she said, I’m coming with you. And then she said, I’m sorry. Gabriel wondered if she knew that there was nothing to be sorry about. Gabriel wondered if she minded that he didn’t speak again for the next few minutes. Gabriel wondered if she knew he was glad she asked the question, even if he didn’t answer it.
They sat on that bench for a long time, being friends who didn’t quite understand each other. Then they walked home.
When Gabriel was younger, Thanksgiving included his parents, his grandparents and his aunt, uncle and three cousins, all of whom were younger and louder than Gabriel. The four of them (“the kids” they were called, both in affection and annoyance) insisted on pie tasting, along with mashed potato tasting and stuffing tasting as Gabriel’s uncle made cranberry sauce that was always a little too sour, and his grandmother and aunt set the table, talking so that Gabriel couldn’t hear what they said, although he tried.
When Gabriel was 8, his cousins moved to California. There was a little less food at the table during Thanksgiving after that, although the cranberry sauce was sweeter. At dinner in those following years, Gabriel’s parents did most of the talking, which meant that Thanksgiving didn’t feel all that different from any other dinner during the year.
