When Steve Hull, the editor and publisher of Bethesda Magazine, asked if I’d be interested in writing a blog that would attempt to capture the humorous side of raising a family in the area, I was enthusiastic.
“Sure!” I said, confidently. Why, something ridiculous happens in our house every day hourly. And I’d been raising children here for a decade (which is nothing short of remarkable, given my extreme youth) and had a lot to say about school volunteering, shopping with teenagers, and tweens and social media. This was going to be easy!
I’m pretty sure the first wave of panic hit me as I left the office. What had I been thinking? What on earth was I going to write about?
I told my family the news that night. “So what do you think?” I said, perkily. “You’ll all get to be characters in my blog!”
“Fantastic!” said my husband, who has learned how to stay out of trouble.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” said my 11-year-old daughter.
“Cool,” said my teenager, who was studying her phone and not listening.
“I’m gonna be an Internet sensation!” said my 11-year-old son.
I promised I would read them any relevant passages. I lowered my son’s expectations. And I resolved to try to write about family misadventures that were fairly universal, not only to spare everyone embarrassment, but also to connect to readers. If my kids woke me up at night, surely other people had had that experience. If my attempts at vacation packing were exercises in insanity, surely I wasn’t alone. If I became obsessed with Downton Abbey, surely other people would…. humor me.
And so I began.
“You’re being too reserved,” my husband would say. “We’re much crazier than that. You, in particular, are crazier than that.”
“That’s NOT how I remember it,” my younger daughter would say.
“You should include a video of my dance moves!” my son would say. “Or take pictures of the cats! Cats are popular on the Internet!”
“Of course that’s fine to write about,” my teenager would say. “You should see what I put on my Tumblr.”
Writing the Minivan Diaries turned out to be more challenging and much more fun than I’d ever imagined. However, I realized several weeks ago when I begged my children, “Do something funny – or absurd! I’ll take absurd — PLEASE!” that perhaps it was time for something new.
I will continue to write for Bethesda Magazine, and will, of course, continue to be behind the wheel of the minivan (probably dropping a child off at soccer when they’re supposed to be at baseball, and annoying the others by singing along with Fun.).
But now, as I say to my children multiple times while trying to extricate them from playdates, it’s time to wrap up.
I had hoped to sign off with humor and flair – to come up with something along the lines of Oscar Wilde’s last words “either that wallpaper goes or I do.” Unfortunately, I lack his pizzazz as well as his need for finality, given that, in spite of my tendency to overdramatize goodbyes, I’m not dying, just ending a blog.
And so I thought I would simply say from the heart, which, after all, is where the humorous side of raising a family is rooted:
Thanks so very much for reading.
