Step One: Confusion.
Pinterest? What is this thing? Should I care? Is it “Pin-ter-est,” or “Pin-trest?” What is “pinning?” How do I join?
What do you mean, I need an invitation? Are you kidding? Oh. You’re not kidding.
Do I really need another social media site?
Step Two: More confusion.
Whoa. What is this? Who are these people? Why is everyone gushing?
Is Martha Stewart behind this?
Am I supposed to be interested in crafts? What’s with all the mason jars? Do people my age like to macramé?
This is like looking at slides of someone’s vacation.
Do I care that my neighbor likes mid-century modern furniture?
Huh. She would really wear THOSE boots?
Wait — is this Tumblr for moms?
Step Three: Anxiety.
I had no idea there were so many ways to be organized. Oh, god, my mudroom doesn’t look like that. Not even close. Wow, look at that beautiful patio! Maybe I’d better pin that, because that is SO how I want my patio to look. When I get one.
Gosh, I didn’t know my friend has such expensive tastes. Can she afford this stuff?
Wait, do people’s pantries really look like that? Do people’s vacations really look like that? Do people really cut their kids’ sandwiches into hearts and decorate them with strawberry borders? Should I buy some bento boxes? Should I go organize my laundry room?
I feel queasy.
Step Four: Irritation:
What’s with all the French braids? Didn’t they go out with acid-washed jeans?
Do American women really need more images of perfect abs? Thanks, Pinterest. Now we have a whole new site to make us feel fat.
I hate pillows with inspirational quotes. Pillows should just make you comfortable. Enough with the hectoring pillows!
There’s a tutorial on making homemade hat stands from toilet paper rolls? Seriously?
Why can’t these people just close the door to their laundry room like everyone else? It looks so neat BECAUSE THERE ARE NO DIRTY CLOTHES IN IT.
Stop showing off!!!! Who are these people?!!!!
Why am I shouting at my laptop?
I hate Pinterest.
Step Five: Cautious experimentation.
OK, now, THAT is cool. I’ll pin that. . .
Huh. You know, pinning is strangely satisfying.
Wow! Twenty people I don’t even know are following me. It must be my fabulous taste.
I’ve got this strange compulsion to dust off my crock pot. . .
OK, I’ll just pin that recipe. I can totally make that.
Oh. My. God. I just typed “Yummy!”
Step Six: Obsession.
Stop pestering me, I know you’re hungry. I’m busy. I have a board to fill. I don’t want to make dinner; I want to pin pictures of the most fabulous dinners ever.
Why can’t I find any inspirational quotes? Oh, look at that clever pillow! That’s hilarious.
Come to think of it, I’ve got a lot of toilet paper rolls lying around. And a lot of hats. Might as well do something with all of that. . .
My bedroom is TOTALLY going to look like that someday. As soon as I get the laundry off the bed.
And I’ve got to get to the gym. If I go, maybe someday I can look like that. Or sort of like that.
But I can’t go now. I’m pinning.
