Reading the Minds of Valentine’s Day Celebrants

1). Mom of four-year-old preschooler. February 1. 1:00 PM:
“I can’t wait for Valentine’s Day! I got red and pink paper, sparkly pens, stickers, and doilies, so she can make homemade cards! It’ll be so much fun! And totally recyclable!”

2). Four-year-old preschooler. February 1. 2:30 PM:
“Valentines are pretty! I love glitter! I love stickers! Uh-oh. I dropped all the glitter on the floor. Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!”

3). Four-year-old preschooler. February 1.  2:45 PM:
“This is boring.”

4). Mom of four-year-old preschooler. February 1. 3:00 PM:
“I can’t believe she stopped after three Valentines. There are 22 kids in the class! Wait, did she really just turn on ‘Dora?’

5). Mom of four-year-old preschooler. February 13. 3:00 PM:
“I can’t believe she’s only made one more in two weeks.”

6). Mom of a four-year-old preschooler. February 13. 11:00 PM:
“I am so exhausted. Whose idea was this? Is that a heart sticker in my hair? Why does my mouth taste like Elmer’s glue? Did that doily just say something?”

7). Eight-year-old boy. February 13:
“Valentine’s Day is stupid.”

8). Dad/Husband. February 13:
“Don’t forget Valentine’s Day. Don’t forget Valentine’s Day. Don’t forget Valentine’s Day.”

9). Mom of 1^st grader. February 10:
“‘We,’ are so not making homemade cards this year. What’s cool in first grade? Scooby-Doo? Disney Princesses? Nah, too young. Sponge Bob? What’s with all the licensing? Do I care?
Not really.”

10). Eight-year-old boy. February 13:
“I can’t believe Mom got me Cars valentines!!! That is SO embarrassing!”

11). Ten-year-old girl. February 10-13:
“I love glitter! I love hearts! I love puppy stickers! And kittens! So many kittens! I am going to make the biggest Valentine for my best friend! And another HUGE one for my teacher! I LOVE Valentine’s Day!”

12). Mom of 1^st grader:
“I can’t believe all the gender messages we’re sending our kids with this holiday. Why did I let mine send out Hello Kitty? What was I thinking? I was thinking I couldn’t take another tantrum in Target, that’s what I was thinking. Don’t judge me.”

13). Eight-year-old boy:
“Cupid is NAKED!”

14). Teenager:
“Valentine’s Day is an artificial construct, perpetuated on a consumer-goods-obsessed society by giant corporations and Big Brother. OMG! I just got a candygram!”

15). Dad/Husband, February 13:
“Don’t forget Valentine’s Day. Don’t forget Valentine’s Day. Don’t forget Valentine’s Day.”

16). Mom of 1^st grader, February 14:
“I can’t BELIEVE some people attach candy to the Valentines!”

17). Mom of 2^nd grader, January 14:
“Where do you buy the Valentines with the candy?”

18). Mom of 5^th grader, February 12
“Was it wrong to hip check that woman so I could grab the last box of pixie stix Valentines?”

19). Dad/Husband, February 14:
“DOH! Oh no! What florists are still open? Did Papyrus close?”

20). Elementary School Children, All Ages, February 14:
“Candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy!”

We love Valentine’s Day.