I took my kids to the dentist over the holidays. Call me festive.
They were horrified at first, but since we’d spent the previous day watching a Downton Abbey marathon on the DVR and eating a cubic ton of peppermint bark, I think they were secretly glad to get out of the house.
When we got to the office, my younger daughter made it clear that I should not entertain any notions of abandoning her to the dreaded pick-wielders, so I accompanied everyone to the back. I sat down and was treated to the following nature vs. nurture tableau:
My 11-year-old twins were lying in side-by-side dentist’s chairs, having their teeth cleaned. My daughter had her eyes squeezed shut, her knees were drawn up, one of her feet was tapping incessantly, and her arms and hands were clasped together, as if in prayer.
Her brother, on the other hand, had one arm lying gently on his stomach. The other dangled over the edge of the chair. His legs were splayed, feet turned outward. One could almost hear Jimmy Buffet. He was practically snoring.
In our family, on many levels, nature is winning.
Our dentist came in. She is a jovial woman. She interrupted my son’s reverie mid-floss to say, “Dude, you really need a hair cut.”
I could see my son was searching for a response. The fact that she was holding a sharp tool near his mouth may have complicated things.
He opted to pretend not to hear.
“Seriously, can I cut your hair?” she repeated.
“Umf,” he said (his teeth were being counted.)
“What was that?” she asked.
“Well,” he replied carefully. “I just really prefer to have a professional do it.”
“Ok,” she said, shrugging. “But I have to say, you are really funny. Could I homeschool you?”
Silence.
“Are you telling me you’d rather go to your own school?” she teased.
“Well,” he said apologetically, “I don’t really know you that well. I only see you twice a year.”
“You don’t have to live with me, “ she said. “I could just teach you.”
“Uh,” he stalled.
“Yes?” she said.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he said, faintly.
“I think you’re a very good dentist,” he added encouragingly, as if hoping to dissuade her from any more career-change musings.
This had become almost as entertaining as Downton Abbey.
As parents are constantly rediscovering, sometimes a quotidian afternoon turns into something more. Everyday moments with our kids – even those moments that are we are in a hurry to cross off our to-do lists – can have unexpected depths, and unexpected charms.
Soon after my son’s conversation with the dentist, we left, smiling, clutching new toothbrushes and sticky frogs, and promising to steer clear of peppermint bark.
